Wow...was able to spend about 4 hrs with a very dear friend of mine tonight.
He's a super dude & has been an amazing friend for the past 12 yrs.
What are your friends "worth" to you?
Are you spending enough time w/them?
What's preventing you from spending more time w/them? Is whatever your excuse is for not spending more time with them "legitimate" or just an excuse? If they died tomorrow, would your excuse for not spending time w/them still be "legitimate"?
He challenged me & caused me to think about a lot of things from a different perspective.
Who is in your inner circle?
Are you in their inner circle?
What do they bring to the table?
What do you bring to the table?
My buddy recently lost his baby brother who was married to a wonderful lady & had 2 beautiful children: 6 & 10.
In 6 days is the 1-Yr Anniversary of my Pops going to be w/the Lord.
Death...is such an incredibly interesting reality of life. It has a way of bringing out some amazingly painful & beautiful things from one's insides. Death is like a permanent sweet & sour sauce. One minute I think about my Pops and all these awesome memories come to mind & neat warm fuzzy emotions seep through my pores...then, the very next minute, the thought & corresponding feelings come to mind of how Elena will never be able to sit on Abuelo's (Grandpa's) lap anymore. She won't get the amazing opportunity to experience & witness first hand the amazing incredible love he had for his God and everyone God made.
Death is an interesting & most-likely, unwanted 'mentor'.
Have you lost someone close to you?
How did it feel?
What did you learn from that person's life?
What did you learn from that person's death?
Do you have any regrets?
What can you do to prevent from feeling that again if/when you lose someone else close to you?
Can you do something differently based on what you learned from them?
Both my buddy & I learned that that we need to stand guard at the door of our heart & mind to be ever watchful & mindful that the busyness of life & work & personal ambitions should never creep and seep into our souls at the expense of those closest to us...choking the very desire of spending time w/our family & friends right out of us(--& the tragedy of it all is that most of us don't even realize it's happening to us).
That is such an empty, cavernous, hollow feeling to reach the pinnacle of all that life has to offer...to stand at the top of the most glorious vista that has ever been witnessed...with absolutley NO ONE to share it with. To have "arrived"...and be all alone at the same time.
Isn't true "success" in life measured by the depth & quality of the relationships we have?
What is the depth & quality of the relationships you have w/those closest to you?
Who would show up to your funeral?
Notice I didn't say, "How many?" The number of people that show up to your funeral is not a great measuring stick of "impact".
A president or rockstar or super celebrity that dies may have thousands in attendance, but how many of those thousands were truly, deeply impacted at their core because of the direct impact of that person's life on theirs? Not to imply that those types of people that have thousands attend their funeral are incapable of impacting at the core level, but don't confuse quantity of impact w/quality of impact.
That's all I'm saying.
Speaking of 'saying'...who would give your eulogy?
What would be said at your eulogy?
If, God-forbid, your time was up tomorrow, what would you be remembered the most for?
What would the epitaph on your tombstone say? ("Here lies a once very busy dude.")
What would that small, horizontal 'dash' represent between your birth date & your 'expiration' date?
Here's a better question: What do you want it to represent? What legacy do you want to leave?
So...backwards plan...beginning at your death and working backwards.
If you would like to live a long, happy & successful life (whatever that means to you), & die when you're 90 (for example), then what needs to happen in your 80's? Who do you need to be and what do you need to do when you're in your 70's? How about your 60's? 50's? 40's? 30's? Your 20's, and so on?
When you're 90 & you've reached the end of your earthly journey, who do you want to have impacted the most?
How will you have impacted them the most?
Who do you need to be now, in order to end the way you want to?
What do you need to do to have the type of impact on the world around you that you want?
Who has lived the kind of life you would like to model your life after?
Who has had the type of impact that you would like to have?
How have those closest to you impacted you?
Have you told them?
One of my favorite quotes of all times is this: "To understand the true value of someone (or something), imagine your life without them."
Please communicate to those closest to you now...with a letter, an email, a phone call, or a visit...just how you feel about them. It would only take you a handful of precious minutes. What a pithy investment for such a massive return. Have no regrets. Leave nothing on the table. Let them know exactly how & why they have impacted you. Be specific. Imagine how it would make you feel if your inner circle did that to you.
Again, I challenge you..."What are your friends worth on your journey?" (Do they know?)
Go.
Do.
Pursue.
I believe in you.
Take the 1st step...now.
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In life (now, more than ever) we are consumed with 'busy'. Regardless of what one's 'busy' may be, it leaves no room for....thought. Many of the challenging and impactful questions you have written here, escape the average persons mind. I can honestly attest to this, because these questions are buried deep in my 'busy'. Thank you for this post and your life experience. Keeping these kinds of questions in front of me and not buried in my 'busy', cause me to be a person of impactful action.
ReplyDeleteNob, I agree with you! I learned that early in adulthood (age 20.) It definitly opens you up to a whole new awareness about life. We then need to make sure we're living life on PURPOSE, knowing what our passions are and being able to get our life to a point where we're our heart is singing...and we are living life with a purposefull and consious passion. There's a lot of people who don't want to be busied and want to capture the moment, but what are those moments like? We've got to make sure they are moments full of "life" and by that I mean appreciation, love, passion for our gifts, service to others. We al lhave to go to Jesus at some part of our life. So, what are we going to leave? Thankfully I know one thing my mom let herself do well at is obvious now that she's gone and was obvious even very soon after she died. She prayed so dilligently over me and for me. She spoke life into me and believed so strongly that I wasn't going to live an ordinary life with ordinary curcumstances and standards. That has shown to be true and continues to show. It's so powerful what impact you can leave on people but it definitly can't be done in the ordinary, ho hum life. My goal: if stepping outside of the box, thinking outside of the box, doing that extra effort and showing that great things can be done when an idividual and God are in lock step in MY life influences others to venture out of their ordinary life to do something extraordinary so that THEY can be a blessing, then that would be what I'd like to be remembered by. If we know what our priorities are based on the end result we want from our life, then we don't have to be "guarded" just discerning in our direction.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Duj9sS-mqSo
ReplyDeletesums up your post :)